Very little of that common sense encourages employers to embrace multi-generational workplaces. This is unfair and I want you to get more props. I hope you find a great new employer who will incorporate everything you bring to the organization.
middle school never really ends
A few years ago, a co-worker whom I considered a friend, although I was not particularly close, invited me to his home for dinner. What I thought was a pleasant social evening turned out to be a scheme to extort information that was quickly shared without my permission.
Since then, our relations have been cordial. My coworker’s efforts to keep me out of social gatherings and make sure I know I’m being excluded have recently escalated to middle-school levels of absurdity. It’s things like scheduling frequent dates when I say I won’t be able to attend, whispering onstage with other coworkers about upcoming plans when I’m there, and other small talk. Besides. I am starting to feel very isolated in a workplace that I used to feel very friendly in. any advice?
I believe this coworker will likely leave for another position in a few years, so I’m tempted to act on this because I don’t think responding to these provocations will yield any positive results.
– anonymous
It’s amazing how many people deal with minor annoyances in the workplace. It shouldn’t surprise me because I work in academia, which is a bastion of pettiness, but still… it’s a weird, unfortunate situation. You don’t say what kind of information they withheld from you or whether a friendly coworker’s behavior has changed so dramatically, so it’s hard to know what’s going on here.
Waiting two to three years is probably the most realistic and frictionless way to move forward, but that’s a long time to feel alienated in your workplace. Why are your other co-workers going along with it too? I have more questions than answers, but you must stand up for yourself! Point out that your coworker is scheduling an event when you’ve made it clear you’re not available. Make your plans with co-workers. Meet the absurd with the absurd if you have to.
corporate theft
I work for a non-profit organization with over 800 employees. Salaries aren’t high, but we get a 2-to-1 match on contributions to our retirement plan, which is important. Last year there was a reorganization of the organization and our retirement plan administrator changed. For a month, we couldn’t contribute, and so we didn’t get any matches.
We were told that if we made that month’s amount, we would get the match at the end of the year. It’s been over a year now, and no one has found a match. HR blames the company that manages our retirement plan and says it is working on a solution. I feel like delaying payments into our retirement plans by more than a year is wage theft! People have left the organization and I think they will never get a match. Is it worth bothering with even though it’s only a few hundred dollars that I won’t be able to use decades from now?
– anonymous
This is definitely some kind of theft, even if it is unintentional. A few hundred dollars counts for most people, especially when that money accrues interest over time. Your former colleagues will never get that money unless they pursue that payment, I’m sure the organization knows that.
Those of you who are still working there should continue to press for this issue. You are owed money and if the situation is reversed and you are owed the organization, you can better believe that management will do everything in its power to collect it.
You have to check how much you bother about it and how much you escalate the issue, how much you care about it. This probably isn’t something that requires a scorched earth approach, but you can ask HR for specifics on how the company is working on it and a timeline for a resolution. Keep at it till you get the money you are owed.
write to roxanne gay workfriend@nytimes.com,
